Loss and Moving On by Donna Cramer
- ann615
- Sep 18
- 2 min read
There are so many different varieties of loss. There is the traditional loss we all fear – the loss of a loved one. Death is always brutal, but sometimes we can comfort ourselves with the thought that they lived a long and good life. Sometimes there is no long life, though. I recently experienced the loss of someone I knew who was only eighteen. Not only was the life of a vibrant young person lost, but also so much potential that will never be realized. In my novel, Vegas Goodbye, there are two different deaths featured.
I also experienced another loss this week. A very good friend lost his dog. This dog was more than just a pet; it was an almost constant companion who brought immense joy to the person.
While discussing loss, the concept of ambiguous loss should also be mentioned. This is a loss when there is no closure. We don’t know if the person has died, perhaps they ran away or became estranged for a variety of reasons. Still, there is a loss for the person who no longer has contact with them. Ambiguous loss can also occur when someone chooses to step away and break off contact, possibly due to alcohol or drug addictions, possibly due to mental health conditions.
Loss in all its myriad shapes is always hard. We often yearn for what we have lost to return.
It is hard to accept any loss. Transitions are hard. A significant part of my book, Vegas Goodbye, explores the characters' attempts to overcome loss. Something both main characters experience is the difficulty in quickly healing and the pressure they feel to move on. Both have the feeling that others want them to heal and move on. How many times have we heard in the case of the loss of a pet: you can get another dog, cat, gerbil, etc. You can, but it won’t be the pet you lost. When someone dies after an illness, we are told they are at peace and no longer in pain. They may be, but they are still gone and will no longer be there to laugh, joke, or hold hands with loved ones.
We must give people dealing with loss the grace and the time they need. Every person’s healing will be different. Some people may move on quickly (whatever quickly is), and some people will take longer, years or lifetimes to heal.
There are no easy answers, but loss is something we will all face at some point.
Moving on?
You can and will, but take your time. There is no timeline, as Debra and John learned in my novel.
The best we can do is treat others with kindness, and this includes ourselves as well.
So many kinds of loss and so many ways to move on.
Comments